I don’t think she’s a well-known name. Came across one of her standup routines on the Dry Bar Comedy channel. Within basically the first 2 seconds of her routine, I had assumed she was an out lesbian (she looks, talks and dresses more lesbian than Ellen)… until she started talking about her husband. Looked her up and apparently she’s quite Christian.

Am I nuts for thinking this woman is either deeply in the closet or just lying?

I don't know. Sexuality based solely on appearance seems very 1980s. Butch straight women exist. COULD she be a lesbian - of course. But IS she supposed to be just because she looks like that?

Is she a one-armed Christian?

The first amputee comedian?

Why can’t she just be ugly OP?

A lot of straight women these days are disgusted with and exhausted by the relentless pressure to feminize themselves and spend, spend, spend. They may not be marching in the streets, but they are quietly saying "no". They don't WANT to look like Kardashians. My sister, my cousin, and several other middle aged women I know just stopped wearing makeup-- like, ever.

This is more than just your average straight woman who doesn't bother with feminine clothes and make up - this woman is heavily butch and even without that her face pings a lot. And the fact that she's a Christian is a big flag. I think OP has called it right and she's probably in the closet or living a straight life because of her religion.

R7, I get that - but there’s a lot of middle ground btwn not wearing makeup and looking like a butcher Ellen. I don’t want to promote or reinforce gender stereotypes but let’s be real… very few if any hetero women (especially at that age) look and talk like this. I personally don’t know any (hetero, at least).

To clarify, some people genuinely do go against stereotypes both ways e.g. there are some lesbians I would never have picked as lesbian, and likewise she may be a straight woman who comes across as lesbian. But if we're going by chances, I'd say the chances of her being a closet case to be high, that's all.

If I were a woman I wouldn't wear make up. Well. maybe a lightly tinted moisturizer, and quick lash. Natural lips. But thats it. And I would hate having big ol jugs. Too much to drag around.

That broad looks like a dyke.

At last, Ah have found the woman of mah dreams!

If Miss Jane Hathaway and Ann B. Davis had a baby...

I would trust her to build my deck.

She could've been a headliner at Michfest.

She looks butch but she reminds me of my friends’ moms when I was a kid in Catholic school. No nonsense, couldn’t be bothered with makeup or hair, tailored clothes. They were all very religious, and had lots of children, so either they were straight or really good at faking it. This woman looks like she could have been one of them.

I would have clocked her as straight very quickly. Something about her mannerisms that I can't quite put into words.

You guys probably don't pay that much attention, but there are certain parts of the country (especially in rural areas) where straight women can look very butch. Think of the L.L. Bean types, cowgirls working on farms, and where I'm from, PA Dutch Country, where the Germanic heritage is very strong, i.e., "Is she German or is she a lesbian?"

It's not as uncommon as you might think. I've met many butch-looking straight women over the years who I thought for sure were gay, but I was wrong. I had a very butch boss in the early 80s who I and a lesbian co-worker used to drool over, and she and her tall, brawny husband had five kids with Bible names.

So you never know.

[quote]I had a very butch boss in the early 80s who I and a lesbian co-worker used to drool over, and she and her tall, brawny husband had five kids with Bible names.

genuinely don't understand why you think that having a husband, kids and being religious is indicative of being straight? There are many religious people (men and women) who pretend to be straight because it's 'a sin' as well as a social taboo.

Lez or not I’m not feeling the funny.

R1 There's a difference between butch straight women and butch lesbians.

Yeah r19, I was going to say the same. Once I read 5 kids with bible names, I immediately thought, “oh honey…”

^ and to add, it was in the early 1980s….

Deeply closeted and self-loathing.

How can she apply makeup with only one arm? Be reasonable.

I looked her up too. She grew up Mormon and then became an evangelical Christian in 2002. She also claims she got miraculously healed of a hip injury while watching [italic]The 700 Club.[/italic] Tellingly, she also says she grew up believing that God didn't love her (though she doesn't say why). Plus, she says in her standup act that her husband is 18 years her senior, so I'm guessing they're not setting the sheets on fire.

Christ, some of you will twist into a ball just to deny that someone is gay.

Christian, comedian, married to a much older guy and dresses like she drives a truck for a living...she couldn't be gayer if she had her head in Ellen's crotch. She's another self-loathing closet case, big yawn.

People act like making a baby is some difficult task only rabid heterosexuals can accomplish. Literal teenagers do it accidentally. Gay men will fuck fruit and men of all persuasions will fuck sheep, but a gay man fucking a woman or, better yet, a lesbian getting impregnated, is some impossible thing that could never happen. GTFOOH.

People who claim someone having a lot of kids as ironclad proof of exclusive heterosexuality are usually extremely ignorant homophobes, so it's interesting for sure to see that here on DL, supposedly a gay website.

She certainly isn't very ladylike.

In the midwest, it's common for straight women (especially moms) to wear flannel and comfortable shoes. And even short hair. Then, when a woman gets to her late 40s / early 50s and into menopause, the female hormones aren't pumping out as strongly.

She pings in still photos. Her body language pings. But listening to her voice, she could go either way. She's 47; I think she'll have a "revelation" after both her parents are dead and become a late bloomer lesbian.

[quote]Heather is a clean comedian and has performed with some of the best, like Caroline Rhea, Jimmy Walker, Bobcat Goldthwait, Bruce Baum, Sinbad, and many, many more.

She's a "clean" comedian and probably thinks talking about lesbians is "dirty." The fact is, "non-binary" is perfectly suited for sexless people like her.

Anyway, I have R20's reaction which is that she doesn't seem very funny.

[quote]She doesn't seem very funny.

Conservatives and god-botherers rarely are.

This is from her official site. Did she drew her eyes with a marker?

Evangelicals are the hardcore Christians as well. Studies have found that as a group they have much more anti-gay views than Catholics and mainline Protestants.

No gay voice. But I would defo have pegged her as a salt and pepper dyke if passing in the street.

"I would have clocked her as straight"

How straight was she going?

How many straight women are stand-up comedians?

She looks like Mike Pence.

And probably as deeply closeted.

R40, please name five well-known straight female stand-up comedians?

Wanda Sykes, Tig Notaro, Ellen, Rosie O'Donnell, Paula Poundstone --- all gay. Your turn.

R41 When was the last time Rosie or Ellen did stand up? Never heard of Paula Poundstone. Amy Schumer, Sarah Silverman, Joan Rivers, Margaret Cho (well she bi, not straight or gay), Whitney Cummings, Kathy Griffin, Whoopi Goldberg (not a stand up these days, bit neither are Rosie and Ellen), Taylor Tomlinson, Lisa Lampanelli, Ali Wong. You forgot quite a few famous gay ones.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of the female comedians you list as straight are closeted lesbians, though you may have a point.

R43 Why would female stand up comedians have to be gay?

R43, I tend to agree—of that list from R42, Whitney Cummings and Whoopi Goldberg ping hard. Hell, almost everybody on that list pings to me.

Is there a sort of butch vibe that’s inherent in stand-up comedy?

I have no idea.

She looks like half the housewives in New England.

That's what I said, R46 -- I called then "LL Bean types."

Didn't Mredoth Baxter Birney have about 700 kids before finally coming out? I agree, kids aren't proof of anything. This chick pings from outer space.

R42, straight men are usually funnier stand up comedians than straight women. It's a scientific fact. It's no coincidence that butch lesbians like Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen are the most successful comedians. Straight women often have a sense of humour that is only appreciated by other straight women and gay men.

R7 they do that because they are sick of having the same ole same ole nightly, so they are trying to run their men off.

[quote]My sister, my cousin, and several other middle aged women I know just stopped wearing makeup-- like, ever.

When you've been married a long time, you stop making an effort 😆.

R45 What's butch about Whitney Cummings?

R48? Would you say the same thing about a man with five kids that he had by impregnating his wife during a long marriage? Just curious.

R53 There are tons of closeted gay men too. Kids don't prove anything.

She doesn't look like lesbian at all, who would have thought that?

You stupid girlies. Not wearing make up, dressing casually and having short hair is one thing (these women still look feminine, they can look much more feminine than some women who try to hard and look like transvestites) but looking like a truck driver, like this lady does, is another.

[quote]Would you say the same thing about a man with five kids that he had by impregnating his wife during a long marriage? Just curious.

I would. Thomas Mann had six children with his wife and he was gay as picknick basket. Oscar Wilde produced two boys in first three years of his marriage, if he hasn't been imprisoned for sodomy he might have reached bigger number. If both partners are fertile it doesn't take much sex to make a baby, occasional saturday night 10 minutes will do.

In the closest lesbian, and probably always will be.

Sex can be pretty mechanical. If you can orgasm from masturbation, you can orgasm having sex with a woman by thinking of whatever turns you on.

Not all ugly women are lesbians. But all lesbians are ugly.

[quote]Not all ugly women are lesbians. But all lesbians are ugly.

Gia Carangi was ugly? Portia de Rossi is ugly? Jodie Foster, model Stella Maxwell, etc..?

R60 You are a moron. Some of the hottest women I know are lesbians. There are lesbian models, miss universe contestants etc.

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